New story from the flan man himself

I just spent nearly an hour chatting with the Flan Man. he relayed me this gem. Kind of scary, but hilarious. I just hope our man come's back alive from europe. because he almost didn't. Hear it is, in his own words:
so me and 3 people from the program took a weekend trip to Krakow Poland
we saw auchwitz yesterday, which was very interesting, toured the town, etc
there is a seriously rocking nightlife there too
i starts up at like 11:30 or midnight, goes till 6, 8 in the morning
yeah it was awesome
anyway, the hostel we were staying at employs this guy to take people out to bars at night
pretty fucking awesome job
he's british, cool guy
anyway, we pregamed with rum and apple juice, then went to a bar, i had some good drinks and stuff
then around 2:30 am or something
we went to another bar, just 4 of us (the guide, one of my friends from the program, and a spanish guy named javier). Anyway, we got some beers, chilled for a bit
i was drunk but not hammered
hard to believe i know
but anyway, the other 3 people I was with went up to the bar to get a drink while I guarded the table
so I'm sort of leaning back in my chair with my feet on two other chairs to reserve for my group
anyway, this huge (and I mean fucking humoungous) guy comes by
looks relatively scary
anyway, he grabs one of the chairs my foot was on like he was making to take it for his table or something
so I said "excuse me, sorry, my friends are sitting here"
apparently he didn't speak english, or else he was looking for a fight, but either way he just walks up to me and grabs me one handed by the neck
and starts to pull me up out of my chair
keep in mind my right leg is still on another chair beneath the table, so I cant stand up and it takes me a bit to get my leg free
I can barely breath, i manage to gasp ok, have the table
anyway, he just punches me in the ribs and drags my by the neck with his humongous massive hand to the door
the bar was on the third floor of the building
so he throws me out the door and down the first flight of stairs
the one friend of mine from budapest still at the bar dropped her phone in a toilet a couple days previously, so her phone was broke, and i didn't have the other guys numbers
So I thought this guy was just some huge drunk asshole. anyway, i decide that since i don't exactly know my way back, or speak a word of polish, that I'll try and go back into the bar and find my group and whatnot
anyway, as I'm going back inthe guy was there, guarding the door and he grabbed me again by the neck and turned me away, let me walk down the stairs this time
so I decide ok, fuck, this guys a bouncer and he was just looking for some poor guy like me to pick on
so I decided to leave
by now its 6:00 am
(At this point i interjected to suggest that flanders may have been to drunk to be there)
suns coming up, I didn't bring a coat because I didn't think we were going that far and I didn't want it to get all smokey
anywya, it wasn't that cold
no dude, I swear i was not that drunk
I remember this all perfectly
i wasn't totally sober but I was not passing out or causing problems or anything
i think he may have thought i was a homeless guy trying to sleep at a table in the bar, because i had finished my beer and didn't have it with me
but either way he's a total asshole, i still have a mark on my neck
(Here I pointed out that flanders does kind of look like a hobo)
fair point..
so then I'm lost in a city where i speak 0 of the language at 6 am with no coat
I tried to find the main square because my hostel was right by it
but i failed
ended up going to a street corner, using my calling card and calling my mom
it was only midnight in the us, so she helped me by google maps to get back to the hostel
all I had to go by was the hostel name and street corner and the city
talk about an awkward conversation with your mom... a bit drunk and lost in a city
apparently i had also forgotten to even tell her i was going to Krakow
so I got back at about 6:45 and went to bed.
the end

Hope you enjoyed it. hope he's ok. Hope yoyoyo posts more of these

Until next time,

EFFFFFFF

The First Real Night of Drinking

So the first weekend we were here obviously the crew wants to forget how much we suck at Hungarian and do a little drinking. We proceed to go to a bar called Szimpla where we chill and have a few drinks. A lot of funny stuff happens, and people openly wonder if Flanders has drank before and if he's always like this. Little do they know...

The highlight of the first bar is that Flanders puts down his glass squarely on top of somebody elses and it shatters everywhere. A chorus of "Flannnnn-derssss" comes. (I've told some people about the Flanders is drunk chant, but it's never really caught on, I'm just as sad as you are). We have quite a bit and then decide to go to the next bar/dance club.

Flanders enters, orders a drink and proceeds to walk downstairs to the dance floor. But as he goes down the glass slips out of his hand and shatters on the floor. Not to be deterred he just goes back upstairs and buys another one. That's two shattered glasses in one night (he'd break another one a few days later even). Much later Flanders is shaking his thang downstairs as we try to understand Hungarian dance customs (hint: they don't make sense). A burly guy walks up to him and says "Hey, these girls (points), they don't like you, you should leave." According to Flanders this is completely unprovoked (I don't know the truth). Flanders obviously gets pissed and gets some people to talk about starting a fight. Thankfully nothing goes down.

Now this is the first time we've tried to get home after the metros close, and I proceeded to get lost for two hours. Flanders also gets hellaciously lost. He jumps onto buses with no regard to where they are going. This is particularly funny because he jumps on like three buses and he lives in the easiest place in the city to get to. Literally like every bus goes near his house. Eventually he figures out where he is and then in typical drunk Flanders character proceeds to run the rest of the way home.

Next up: Flanders does the Superbowl.